Rescuer

There comes a point when you lose sight of the shore.

When you have been treading water for much too long and the waves begin to overtake you.

When you’ve run out of energy and are prepared to let yourself sink to the depths.

Giving up.

Drowning.

Letting go.

—-

In life, we are consistently faced with a choice in our struggles. It’s a choice to sink or swim. A choice to keep treading water or to give into exhaustion and let go.

The fact is, I am not aware of anyone who has not experienced a moment where they feel as though they are drowning. And that’s okay. We weren’t promised a carefree life. If we were, we wouldn’t really need Jesus, would we?

I noticed something today in the song Oceans, by Hillsong United. In the pre-chorus we hear “And I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves”.

It’s not a cry for the Lord to swoop in and lift us out of the water. We know that our Savior can walk right over that ocean like it’s nothing, but that’s not what the song cries out for.

It’s a call for just enough strength to see over the waves. Just enough to make it through.

Just enough.

God is more than capable of rescuing from the depths of the ocean, He is capable of infinitely more than we can ask or even imagine.

But sometimes, having to trust Him for just enough strength to make it through the storms of life is all we receive. Does that mean that God is unable to draw us out of our struggles? Not at all.

Does it mean that He is, in fact, unfaithful? Also no.

The thing I have noticed about life is this: this struggle will not last. There is an end in sight, but there will be other struggles and other painful moments to follow. Sometimes, it will seem never ending, but looking back there is so much growth that happens in difficulty. There will be point after point in life where you are pulled to the right or to the left, and are left with a choice. 

Do you allow yourself to be pulled under the waves?

Or do you trust the Lord of the Universe to give you the strength to tread water just a little longer?

 

More Than Gold

Where does your value come from?

Do you find it in your job? In relationships? In getting good grades?

In school? Family? In trying to love the image you see in the mirror?

In finding love?

In finding happiness?

Is it from being wanted or needed?

In always seeking something better?

Do you rely on the possessions you own or those you hope to own someday, because those will finally make you happy?

In the car you drive? The phone you use? The shows you watch on Netflix?

In what others think of you? In fitting in?

Where does your value truly lie?

Because I can tell you wholeheartedly that you can never find your importance in anything this world has to offer you.

It will never, ever come close.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

I keep coming back to Psalm 139, where these verses come from. It’s really beautiful scripture and every word just hits me over and over.

You are so loved.

You are so loved.

You are so loved.

And then I forget it, every time.

But sometimes God makes his incomprehensible character visible to me and I think I get to just catch a glimpse. He knows me so well, that it is always in something beautiful like a sunset, in unconditional love from a friend or in a song, and it brings me full of tears to my knees.

And I am reminded again, “You are loved.”

Each and every once of us wasn’t just some mistake and every part of us was perfectly placed just as it is. Knitted, I love that word, knitted, in our mother’s womb starting day one, but planned from the beginning of time.

I am fully convinced that if we truly understood how much God cares for us, we would be crushed by the magnitude of His glory and grace. Crushed.

Yet our measly little human brains just don’t get it.

So we go back to forgetting where our value comes from and we find it in everything but Christ.

Yet when God created the Universe, He knew right then and there that in 2017, the world would need one of you. Reading my ramblings on your computer or phone, right where you are.

Broken pieces and struggles, accomplishments and all.

I guess what I am trying to get at is this:

What is the point in finding your worth in all the things of this world when you can find it in something so much better?

What does it matter if you have everything you could ever want on this Earth if you never know how loved you are by the Lord of the Universe?

What’s the point?

Maybe it’s just because I needed a reminder myself, but I hope you remember this now and always… You are worth more than you will ever comprehend to someone who died to know you. Because what matters isn’t the superficial things we try to fill the voids in our hearts with or try to find our value in.

What matters is Christ.

You are worth more.

Finding Rest

Just some thoughts from quiet time today…

Truly my soul finds rest in God;

my salvation comes from him.

Truly he is my rock and my salvation;

he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:1-2

Can one allow their soul find rest in God alone? Not in searching, in wondering about the future or regretting the past; in losing themselves in friendships, work or school, relationships, but in Him alone? Yet our souls can reside there, in Him alone and not in all of those other distractions.

Our salvation comes from Him.

Through the cross we are saved.

Redeemed.

Beloved.

Not because of anything that we did, but because of what Christ did for us. Even though we are each in our own way unworthy of such a sacrifice, still it was freely given.

So now I can sit here, in awe, because He is my salvation.

And every time we hit what can only be called rock bottom, there he is.

The rock at the bottom.

Unmoved, unwavering, and waiting patiently for us to run back into his open arms.

A fortress surrounding us.

Protecting.

Defending.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can penetrate the ultimate protection freely given to us by the ultimate protector.

No storms of life, no trials, NOTHING can separate us from God’s love, and because of that we cannot allow ourselves to be shaken from where we stand.

Oh sweet soul, you have been wandering for much too long. Allow Him to be your protector, your salvation, your fortress, your rock…

And most importantly,
just rest,
you are beloved. ♥

Be loved, beloved

There are, arguably, four types of people when it comes to Valentine’s Day.

One, the couples who celebrate this holiday. They’re the ones who post photos of flowers or chocolates from their significant other, or a photo of the both of them. They might have a romantic meal, or give a card to one another. They at least try.

You know what I mean.

Next are the rest of the couples, who don’t really do anything for the holiday. Maybe they have been together two long to care anymore, or they have mutually decided that ‘Valentine’s Day is stupid’ and refuse to participate.

There are also those who mourn or miss past relationships on this day, reminiscing on what could have been even if the relationship ended for good reason and often claiming that they hate this holiday.

Can’t say I blame them…

Lastly, there are those who have never celebrated what is known as Valentine’s Day because they have never had a significant other to celebrate it with. Yeah.

Maybe there are more than four, in fact I’m sure there will be people who don’t fall into these groups. But I’m sure you get what I am trying to do here, bear with me.

I count myself in the last category. 

But unlike a majority of people who find themselves as chronically single as me, I don’t dislike Valentine’s Day. As I have grown in my faith throughout the years, I have found that I can often see God and His love in ordinary, every day things.

And yes…even in Valentine’s Day.

February 14th begs the question: what is love?

Love is not measured by boxes of chocolate, cards or bouquets of flowers. (That’s not to say that there is anything wrong with buying your girlfriend flowers, those couple dollars spent really will make her day. But still.)

It’s so much more than those little things.

Love is only one thing, one word, one name…. (drumroll please!)

Jesus Christ.

Here’s the deal:

You have been loved by Christ from day one, loved so much that he would willingly suffer and die so that you and I can have life. 

He loves you when you are happy. He loves you when you are sad. 

He loves you on those days when you look in the mirror and hate what you see. 

He loves you on the days you feel beautiful. 

He loved you all those times that you didn’t measure up to the world, and all those times you succeeded too. 

Every promise that the Bible gives us, every beautiful thing we have been given, and through every heartache and every blessing we are constantly reminded of the enduring love that our Savior has for us.

God’s love is often referred to as agape, which translated from Greek is most closely ‘unconditional love’. If you need a quick refresher on what this means, here you go.

It’s easy to forget all this, I know. No matter how you feel about today’s holiday, there is a love that tops everything we could possibly experience here on earth. I want to remind you to consider this love that you are so freely given.

So, beloved child of God, be loved today – and every day. You are worthy. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

 [Photo found on picmonkey.com]

 

 

Dear Younger Me

Dear Younger Me,

Where do I begin?

If I could go back and fix some things, let me tell you, I would.

But first I need to tell you, it gets better.

You won’t always be stuck in this place of not knowing who you are or what to pursue. I’m not saying that I know what I’m doing (trust me, I don’t) but I am closer.

You will survive middle school. It may seem like hell now, but it’s nothing you can’t handle.

But I am going to warn you, people you thought were friends won’t be. As much as you try to be popular, you will get shoved out of your “friend group” not once, not twice but three times in the course of middle school. Part will be your fault, but you can embrace your mistakes and learn from them, which is what you do.

For awhile you’ll pray every night to a God you aren’t sure is even there that he will send you a best friend who you can do everything with, someday you will find your place and friends who are real.

It will take a long time, but that little acne-ridden girl who didn’t know who she was meant to be will grow up in time, and she will turn into a strong woman who knows her place and only that it is found through Christ.

High school will be better than middle school.

You will find two people you think are your best friends.

You will have boyfriends together and go to the mall to hang out. It will be fun, you will wonder why you hadn’t experienced this before. You’ll have lame little parties and drink soda and watch horror movies and feel like you belong. Even here is not your place.

People change, and when you give your life to Christ after sophomore year, these friends will continue to pull you away and eventually you are going to have to let go of them. They will worship other idols: drugs, their boyfriends, their bodies.

Speaking of that, you will give something away to a boy sophomore year. It will hurt alot and you won’t think you will ever be okay again. It will, I can promise you. It may be hard to trust men for awhile, I’m still struggling with this, but know that you can hold out for a man on fire for Christ – you are worth that.

It will be okay.

There will be some really good parts of high school, too.

You will make friends, some that may even last forever. You may not always get along, but that best friend you prayed and prayed for comes in the form of three amazing women you will grow close to your junior year and they will stay by your side throughout the rest of high school. Hold on to them.

Musical will be one of those good parts, too. You will learn to be more confident in yourself, something you are probably lacking in. Come age 18 when you no longer have that, you will miss those days of caked on makeup and showers at 1 am to attempt to get the hairspray out of your hair. It will be so worth it. And the summer after high school you will find yourself home alone watching the Sound of Music and crying on the couch because you miss it that much. Cherish those memories.

Band will be even better. It is one of those things that will annoy you sometimes, but you will miss like a piece of you is gone when it is over. When you think about it hard enough, your heart will start to ache and you’ll have to look at old photos to remember every moment. You’ll try out for colorguard your junior year and senior year will be dedicated to it. You will do as much as you can for your director because you wish with all your heart that even though she hides it, she wasn’t so stressed out. At your final band concert, she will even present you with her director’s award and when you get home that night you will cry happy tears because you didn’t even realize that your bossiness and organization was actually helping others. You will meet people, grow close to your directors and have lifelong memories from the mere four years you had in the group.

You will decide to go to college, and your senior year you will tour a few places. One you will love, one you will hate and one you will end up at. You are in the right place, so don’t worry. You won’t know what you want to “be when you grow up”, and it will stress you out a lot.

All the people in your life will be encouraging and you will find your path (hopefully, I am still stuck at this point). You will want college to be a time of learning about yourself and if you persevere, it will be.

Fast forward to today. You will be sitting near the cafeteria at your college, drinking a chai tea latte that you bought at Starbucks this morning and glancing up every once in awhile to see a wall filled with old photographs of former professors. A vending machine will be humming beside you and the sound of students playing ping pong echoes from a room near you. At this moment, right now, you are truly content.

You don’t have it figured out. Not even a little bit. Tomorrow you may not be so happy, that’s how this works. But right now, right here, you know that despite all your mistakes, all your screw ups and your falls, God has got you. It took awhile for you to figure out, but somehow it was perfect timing. That God you prayed to in middle school is real and true and he is there. He loves you and he has brought you to this point.

Trust Him with everything you have. When you are feeling lonely a week in to college, it will be okay to pour your heart out to the only one who can heal it, He will carry you through everything.

Every moment up to this point, every temptation and every tear, every moment you weren’t sure you wanted this life any more, every time you couldn’t contain your excitement and every smile – they were all worth it.

Continue to embrace a relationship with God, continue to be kind to people even when you don’t want to. It will be okay and you will be better for it.

Don’t settle for less or sell yourself short in any way. You are worthy of happiness, whether that means waiting or taking chances.

Dear younger me, it gets better. Don’t give up on God, or on yourself.

You’ve got this.